This week’s blog is dedicated to the growing number of females in London town who have had their lips done. All of a sudden they appear to be everywhere – passing me on the street, creeping up behind me in Selfridges, all the sushi restaurants, at the fish counter in Waitrose….
What confuses me is not even so much the amount of girls getting their collagen fix, but the amount of girls getting EXACTLY the same trout pouts. Am I missing something here? Is there a doctor doing a 50 % off deal on lip injections? My initial response was to blame Kim K, who is also the perpetrator of the caterpillar eyebrows trend (FYI: colouring in your eyebrows so heavily it looks like you let your baby cousin loose with a brown crayon on your face is NOT CHIC, and you look more like a character of similarly NOT CHIC show The Valleys than an exotic member of the Kardashian clan). However, at least Kim’s many lip jobs don’t bear resemblance to a creature of the sea. My views on surgery are fairly open: whilst I do think that it can be an addictive process which only ends up making you more insecure as you strive for perfection which is unobtainable, it can look good if you have the right surgeon, who understands that less is more. But lip jobs baffle me.
It’s the whole concept behind why women get their lips done which I don’t understand. If you’ve had your trout pout done (it brings new meanings to the term plenty more fish in the sea…), it doesn’t make you special, because everyone else who sees Dr Lips is getting the same lips as you. When a man looks at your lip job, he is definitely not thinking, Oh, wow, her lips are amazing, I wonder what it would be like to kiss those lips. He is thinking about you kissing a region a little more southern. To put it bluntly, as I was told by a male: ‘They’re thinking about you sucking their dick’. (We can fuss all we want about men being so complicated, but they’re really quite simple: Me, My Dick and I, is the general life line).
It’s also the rudest because half the time I feel like the people who have had their lips done are angry with me or sulking. Why do you look so unfriendly?
My point is all of these women look exactly the same. They are paying good money to look like a TOWIE reject. Call me old fashioned, but surely beauty is about being unique and happy with yourself? How is something desirable if every other girl walking down Oxford street has it? I hate referencing this because it’s clearly subjective, but for arguments sake: Are the most ‘beautiful’ women in the world not successful because they posess something which is not really obtainable simply by nipping to the London Clinic in their lunch break?
To conclude, I am OVER IT. Most of these women also take all of the best Louboutin sizes and it’s pissing me off. Last year I bought a pair of lady peeps for £525 and a year later the price has been mysteriously upped to £695. The whole WAG look is far too accessible and getting tackier by the minute, ruining brands I once loved and upping prices by the second in an attempt to delay the situation. I can’t even buy a Hermes belt anymore, because I’ll look like an arsehole. In the words of Regina George: What is happening to the world?
emilyungraceful 