The Ongoing Moment – huntergather’s AW15 Collection (LCM)

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of attending huntergather’s Autum/Winter 2015 London Collections: Men show, ‘The Ongoing Moment’. Having recently been awarded the Best Men’s High Street brand by the chic geek, huntergather’s collection did not disappoint, taking inspiration from the 70’s, the difference between psychedelia and digitalia’ and reinterpreting the designs in new ways that were nothing short of amazing. The collection reflected the ‘rich culture of those days and these: square-toed loafers, boot-cut trousers, wide-belts, slim-fitting jackets, generous collars and lapels.’ The collection had a ‘colour palette of beige, navy and brown’ (Kim and Kanye would be proud!).

The collection was versatile and understated yet still special, with certain pieces and looks that really stood out, such as this one.

Also included in the collection were these amazing image prints, which was particularly eye catching as a jacket and trousers combination. I’ve never wanted to stare at an outfit for so long!

Bootleg trousers – 70’s inspired

As we are in an age in which ‘digitalia’ is more prominent than ever before, central to most of our lives, I thought it was amazing how these messages of ‘psychedelia’ were such clear inspiration for the clothes. Even the staple pieces were inspiring. If I was getting married, I could use any of the pieces from the collection as my ‘something old, something new…’ because the 70’s and digital era were so well fused together. The collection was full of classic pieces, but also items with a twist for the more outgoing male fashionistas.

Guests enjoying coffee outside the store

As ever, the show was a busy one, held at the Wigmore Street store with regulars such as David Gandy, Oliver Proudlock and Mr Hudson all in attendance. The guests drank and ate from the in store coffee shop, and botanic juices, crossaints and charcoal water (which tasted MUCH nicer than a green juice) was also on hand for all.

David Gandy with Chris Bailey

Mr Hudson

Founders Chris Bailey and David Bradshaw with 2 of the models

Proudlock

If you want to look as chic as these guys and grab yourself or your father/brother/son/etc some huntergather gear – or even a coffee – head to 68 Wigmore Street, Redchurch Street or 1st floor at Selfridges (Men’s contemporary designers).

http://www.huntergather.com/store-finder

Check them out in Instagram: http://iconosquare.com/hunter_gather

Twitter: https://twitter.com/hunter_gather

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/huntergathersocial

My favourite chemical free beauty products!

For most of my teen years, I used to spend most of my money the way most teenage girls do – obsessing over all the makeup and beauty products I could get my hands on. I never really gave much thought to what was in these products, or what they could do/were doing to my skin and body. I had literally built up a half used collection of half of Boots and Selfridges beauty department and (rather ironically) it was NOT pretty. I remember speaking with all my girlfriends about products and the massive annoyingness of being a 14 year old girl, and how various doctors/dermatologists had always gone on about how until you’ve ended puberty there’s nothing you can do to improve your skin. The older I’ve got, and the more interested in health and fitness I’ve become, the more time I have taken to learn more about the products so many of us use and how best to look after my skin and body. And let me tell you – it has been a long and difficult journey since I was a badly fake tanned and overly bronzered 14 year old in a pink juicy tracksuit!

One of the biggest mistakes I realize that I made when I was that orange 14 year old was the amount of chemicals I was putting on my skin. If you look on the label of something and it has more than about five ingredients in it, it’s PROBABLY not going to be very good for you. In loads of popular products there are a shit ton of dangerous chemicals which can do anything from irritate your skin to fuck up your hormones. As I’ve written before – you know eating junk food is bad for your body, so why would you do the same to your skin? Bad skin products and makeup are essentially the junk food of skincare and beauty products. I wrote in a previous post of the quote that I love, ‘invest in skincare before makeup – the better your skin is, the less makeup you need’ and it’s as true now as ever. I love makeup, but it’s no fun caking yourself every day and feeling like shit whenever you’re not coated in MAC products, and making your skin worse in the process.

Below are my favourite beauty products that I have achieved amazing results with and are all chemical free – and not tested on animals either, for any vegans reading!

HAIR: Hair needs looking after just like your skin! I always use Aveda when I’m washing my hair, which you can find at John Lewis – (http://www.johnlewis.com/aveda-shampure-shampoo/p236722). It’s slightly more expensive than your standard supermarket home brand, but a bottle of their shampoo and conditioner lasts me a good 6 months, (And I have really long hair!). They have a wide range of products but I just use their standard one about twice a week.

FACE MASK: I was never hugely into face masks. I tried quite a few when I was younger and desperate for amazing skin, such as the much coveted Eve Lom (which was horrendous and majorly messed my skin). Since then I’ve kept it fairly basic and just invested in good moisturisers and cleansers, but I visited Content recently (http://www.beingcontent.com/) and asked for their recommendations on the best masks, and they introduced me to REN skincare’s glycolactic radiance renewal mask, which ‘is a potent bio active peel mask designed to renew the complexion, reduce the appearance of fine lines and dramatically improve skin tone’. I have been using the REN mask for about a month now, once a week, and it is UNREAL – the day after I always have girlfriends asking me what I’ve used.

http://www.beingcontent.com/skincare/face-masks/glycolactic-radiance-renewal-mask.htm

CLEANSER: My favourite cleanser has for some time now been the purifying foaming cleanser from Suki. From the first time I used it about 18 months ago, it has been amazing. I usually use it once a day, straight after I’ve worked out. The package states it gives ‘long term results without side effects’ and it’s not wrong. Despite using this product every day, it still last me for a good 6 months. Holistic benefits include: ‘The sebum mimicking jojoba oil mingles with your skin’s fatty acids, allowing the actives & apple enzymes to penetrate pore channels where bacteria resides, “eating away” congealed surface oils & dead skin without clogging or drying out the skin.’ (http://www.beingcontent.com/skincare/cleansers/wash/purifying-foaming-cleanser.htm)

Makeup Remover: For the past couple of years, I have been using Bioderma, which has been good for not irritating my skin and does the job as good as the next. However it sometimes takes absolutely AGES to take my makeup off with this one, so I looked for an alternative and then I found NUXE rose miscellar cleansing water. This product is also really good if you have sensitive skin, and like Bioderma it also cleanses your skin as well as being a makeup remover, so you don’t have to go through the annoying process of cleansing as well as makeup removing when you’ve come home from a night out! It’s also great at removing eye makeup, and it doesn’t sting your eyes if you accidentally put too much on the cotton bud! It also smells AMAZING, so if you want to go to bed smelling like a bed of roses, this is the thing for you!

I had a bit of a pain trying to find it in-store at Space NK but you can get it online here.

http://uk.spacenk.com/micellar-cleansing-water-with-rose-petals/MUK200008751.html

hunter gather Spring/Summer 2015 – Move, Soulboy: LCM

As some of you might remember, a few months back I posted about the amazing huntergather, a creative community assembled by founders Chris Bailey and David Bradshaw. This morning, I had the pleasure of attending the upcoming S/S 2015 show for men’s collections, which was equally as fab!

 

Inspiration 

 

huntergather is ‘a new concept in fashion retailing.. it is a collective, a repository of ideas, a gathering of minds and a fashion label.’ (www.huntergather.com)

 

Jazzy windows on Wigmore Street

 

Shown at the Wigmore Street store, the collection focused on soul-boy silhouettes, curly perms and plastic sandals (which made me feel incredibly nostalgic for the 90’s, and I will be investing in another pair ASAP!). Once again, the prints were inspired by an iconic artist – this time, Matisse, with jazzy applique cut-out motifs. The colours in the collection were ideal for summer: earthy and bright, which makes sense for British weather when its always raining and you need something colourful to make you feel better…..

 

As the male models nonchalantly swaggered down the runway, there was also R&B music playing, which fit very well indeed with the stylish and smart, yet understated feel of the clothing and models. In the words of Beyonce, If (only) I were a boy…..

 

David Bradshaw stated on the collection: ‘When David Bowie released ‘Young Americans’ he said he’d been inspired by the sounds of local dance halls. His new sound needed a new look, Ziggy morphed into a soul-boy, and got a new fan. You see, I knew these sounds, for I was a soul boy too. I remember talking about this with David Sims when we worked together on an editorial for an early issue of Arena Homme Plus, and we channeled this energy and attitude into the story,, setting dance moves against a cut-out set’ Much more recently I saw the Matisse cut-outs show at the Tate Moden. So full of energy and life, its vividness and vibrancy reminded me of those times’.

 

 

My absolute favourite of the collection has got to be the blue bomber jacket, which I will be pouncing on as soon as it is in stores! (I know I’m a girl but it is to die for)

 

 

 As usual, there were lots of familiar (and extremely good looking) faces there, such as….

 

 

David Gandy

 

 

Oliver Cheshire and Mr Hudson

 

  @charleyvanpurpz @ramariochevoy @xyyx_

One of the reasons I am a huge fan of the clothes is because they have a very fresh and unique approach to fashion, and everything is original – so no chance you’re going to look like everyone else! So much attention and details is put into the clothes and it really shows. I hope you enjoyed reading the blog as much as I enjoyed writing it!

 

 

 

 

 

If you’re looking to buy huntergather items, you can find them in the store, at Selfridges or online at:

 

www.huntergather.com

http://www.matchesfashion.com/mens/hunter-gather

http://www.selfridges.com/en/Menswear/Brand-rooms/Brands/HUNTER-GATHER/?brandname=HUNTER+GATHER&noDept=1

 

 If you’re on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/huntergathersocial

                       Twitter: https://twitter.com/Hunter_Gather

                   Instagram: https://twitter.com/Hunter_Gather

 

 

Uniforms are dumb

FORENOTE: WHILST WRITING THIS BLOG, I TRIED TO FIND HILARIOUS PHOTOS OF ME IN UNIFORM. UNFORTUNATELY WHEN I WAS 15 I GOT EMBARRASSED AND DELETED AL EVIDENCE OF WHEN I WAS A FREAK, SO I CAN ONLY INCLUDE A FEW WHICH I STOLE FROM OTHER PEOPLES FACEBOOK PROFILES.

A few weeks ago, I was having dinner with some friends from school when the topic of school uniforms came up. As our school was probably one of the few remaining in London which was uniform-less, it came as a bit of a shock to us that that has now been changed. Not only a shock, but as we all agreed, a bit of a shame.

 

Here is an example of giving no fucks at school

 

I suppose the idea behind a uniform is that it kind of creates an equal ground for (in this case) students, to lessen the chances of bullying for the kid who isn’t typically ‘cool’ and as is often the case in preppy private schools, those who can’t afford head to toe designer clothes ages 12. Which makes sense. It is inevitable that in any school, especially between the ages of 11 and 18, you will at some point feel insecure about how you look or what you’re wearing. This doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with the fact you’re in school – it’s probably more due to the fact you’ve hit puberty and feel hideously self conscious and hormonal, but inevitably we have all felt a little competitive with one another when in comes to what we are, and lets be honest, the coolest kids in school are usually always dressed pretty well.

 

 

But is it better to throw a uniform at the problem, in a desperate make everyone the same? Not really, because you only really then postpone the issue to when they’re 18 and as a school you don’t have to deal with it. As we all agreed, although not having a uniform initially feels competitive and loads of effort, after you get used to it, it’s the best fucking thing ever, because you kind of get to figure out who you are and what you like about ten years before everyone else. You also care way less about impressing everyone after by the end of your first uniform-less year, someone has at one point come to school in their pyjamas. Strapped for time first thing in the morning? Who needs to get dressed! Through on your hoodie and leave the house stress free. At the end of the day, if you’re going to have problems with other kids in school, the real problem is not going to be because of how you dress. And if it is, kids need to learn to not care what people think of how they dress as young as possible, as me and my friends were lucky enough to.

Clearly unable to look at the camera because I knew my hideous uniform was hiding underneath

At my previous school (where there was a very STRICT uniform code), I used to get detentions all the time just from not tucking my shirt into my skirt. I know it’s a small rule, but how fucking dumb is that! I distinctly remember the many anger issues 90 percent of the students had against the strictest teachers, which all began with a minus point for having a corner of your shirt un-tucked. In my opinion, removing a uniform removes a LOT of petty student teacher arguments, which are so awkward to witness (and be a part of). I also remember once a term having a non-uniform day, which was possibly the biggest stress of the century, because it was one of the few days which the whole school see what you ‘actually’ look like, and the immense pressure to be better dressed then about 2 thousand other people.

SAD ABOUT UNIFORM

 

As I’m studying at a fashion college, I see a LOT of people who make a huuuge effort on a daily basis. On the one hand, I totally get it, fashion is awesome. As Rachel Zoe perfectly sums up, it is ‘a way of saying who you are and what you feel without having to speak’. Very true. Fashion is amazing and many people live their entire lives in it. It affects all of us whether we like to admit it or not, and it’s literally everywhere. As easy as it would be for me to say I don’t care for it, it’s not true, even if momentarily I do often question peoples outfit choices, and there are definitely items of clothing I wouldn’t be seen dead wearing (one of them is black tights, I can’t be dealing with more reminders of school uniform).

But being allowed to have my own style and wear whatever I like since the age of 13 has also made me realize fashion is also pretty fucking stupid, which is really liberating. I don’t need to spend my time ‘experimenting’ with new styles because I already have one.

 

Whilst I would always appreciate the approval of my nearest and dearest when I’ve bought something, I also don’t really give a shit what anyone else thinks because I’ve bought it for myself and not them. I love fashion and I love clothes, but I’m amazed at how seriously people take it, because for so long now it’s not been such a big deal to me. I am so embarrassed for people who take fashion so seriously, because the whole point of it is that it’s supposed to be fun, and different from other slightly more uniform practices. Is the Instagram whore with 5,000 likes on her and her bag an interesting person? Probably not.

 

Word to the tracksuit wearers

Unfortunately for most people, some form of uniform follows them into every day life and controls what they are able to wear and on many levels, their comfort. If I was a llawyer, I probably wouldn’t be able to go to work wearing my gym leggings and a PINK hoodie, because no one would take me seriously. (Can’t decide if this is ok or not). Luckily I’m not and I can dress like a fucking idiot all the time. It seems a shame, therefore, to stop children and teenagers from having the freedom to dress as they please for what might be their only chance.

5 Things that annoy me

5 Things that annoy me

 

Today I’m feeling super angry at the world because city life is GETTING THE FUCK ON MY NERVES. As I’ve been a little clueless this week and have been wondering what to write my blog on – I WILL be posting my five favourite restaraunts ASAP but I decided it would be really bad unless I got good photos of them all – it came to me that whilst I wait, I could get rid of some of my negative energy on here instead. So here are the 5 things about London right now that are pissing me the HELL off.

 

1)    Girls taking photos at Cirque le Soir.

 

I get it, you’re super edgy. You’re taking photos with small people and you probably saw a coupe of women take their boobs out. You had a mega photoshoot looking super seductive in a swing and you want the world to see how the lighting makes you look like Cara D. But is it possible that I could one day log onto my Facebook account without having to scroll through 500 photos of girls posing in front of that fucking black and white stripy wall? ENOUGH WITH THE WALL. GET OVER THE WALL! I know that you can lose your head after slogging down fifteen vodka orange juices, but this annoying ‘I’m in a members club’ instagramming has GOT to stop. The only thing you’re actually gonna be paying for is a sore vagina the next day girlfrieeeend 

 

2)   People who walk slowly.

  

Why is your life so unimportant? Why do you have nowhere to be in a hurry? Why do I have to feel bad when I push you out of the way? Haven’t you ever heard of cardio? Slow and steady ain’t gonna win no races.

 

 

3)   Having to see every other girls bare stomach

 

ENOUGH with this trend which is apparently going nowhere in a hurry. Every other girl I see has got her high waisted leggings, looking she’s about to do the freaking Tour de France, matched with her Topshop crop top with some kind of slogan across the front: ‘GEEK’ , ‘NERD’, ‘NEW YORK’. Call me old fashioned but what is this constant need to show off your pasty flesh? I know it seems like a trick to make your waist look thinner but seriously put it away! If my daughter came to me about to go out with her womanly parts all exposed I would wonder if we were even related. What ever happened to a little thing called mystery? *Cries*

 

4)   Weird chat up lines

 

I was talking to my friend about this yesterday and London boys are the worst culprits for this because they apparently work on a chance basis when picking up girls. FYI, the line ‘hey, hey, I was just wondering where you’re from?’ is NOT fooling anyone. It always comes with some weird kind of dance move as well, whilst the creep in question kind of bounces around you whilst you try and escape. Also not sexy: when boys yell at you stuff like ‘Yo babes’ or ‘What you saying’ or the classic ‘Hi’ whilst looking you up and down. I’m not saying anything you freak! Why do guys think this works? My only suggestion is that like bad gamblers, they come at every girl that passes by, hoping that out of the 99 who disgustedly walk off, one will appreciate the attention and become their next prey. Listen up girls: No wedding speech ever starts with: ‘I remember the magical moment when Harry met Sally, on Oxford street, when he romantically asked her what she was saying’

  

 

5)   Mobile phones

 

I am OVER having lunch or coffee with people who can’t get off their phones!! In the words of Kingsley – have you ever had a conversation with somebody and you don’t get anything from them apart from their motherfucking SCALP?

 

This sums it up pretty perfectly: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sn1wV7n4alQ&list=UU-vSh8UCm0tFaLYAIXqqKLA

Women’s magazines: THE FUCK?

 

 I came across this amazingness earlier this week on @thefatjewish  ‘s instagram and it prompted me to think about magazines. Like most girls, I am usually pretty happy to flick through a few glossy pages. Vogue is usually my magazine of choice (I was given a monthly subscription as a Christmas gift) but if I’m waiting to see my dentist or WHATEVER, Tater or Elle will also do – I’m not fussy and this is probably because there is not a lot of difference between the ‘monthlies’. All contain fashion, makeup, and some kind of inspiring celebrity story. Every time I go on holiday, I also develop a weird obsession with the weekly magazines (if you’re a boy, think ‘heat’) which last for about two weeks and involves lots of lying to my parents at the end of the trip about who signed for lots of highly taxed goods on our bill at the hotel shop. However, I’ve come to start questioning the material I am reading. 

 THE FUCK?

It has often occurred to me that the reason I don’t really stick to a particular magazine is due to lack of inspiration. A conversation with my cousin confirmed I’m not alone: as she quite rightly put it: “Women’s magazines are boring – I know how to do my hair and makeup and I don’t need to read through hundreds of pages of adverts to figure that out”. She also agreed that men’s magazines – for us at least – are far more interesting.

 

I realise this is a big statement to make – I don’t ‘hate’ women’s magazines, I just wish there was more to them. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but there seems to be something really backwards about them, and I often feel really fucking patronized, and it’s annoying! In November, I was in the bath, and I just wanted some downtime with some interesting articles (hopefully) and a few pairs of shoes. I started reading an article. It was a 3 page spread on a woman who has a hobby which is – wait for it – MAKING JAM! SOO INSPIRATIONAL! THIS IS THE STUFF GREAT ARTICLES ARE MADE OF. The highlighted quote from the article read: ‘How could I have known that the politics of jam making had its own set of rules and regulations?’

OMG, this is almost too dramatic to handle. How could she have known? How on earth did she manage to get through that stressful period in her life?

The content of women’s magazines is misleading, the sex advice in particular. Who walks past the magazine stand and reads the cosmo headline: ‘How to orgasm EVERY time you have sex!!!’ and actually thinks it will work? If it was the case that all you have to do to understand how you can orgasm is read an informative magazine article, they would be selling a lot more copies. 

 

On the other hand, when I buy GQ (don’t judge me), although there is still the usual mix of fashion and grooming advice, the articles contain much more DEPTH. I can read about sports, film, TV, food – there’s even a jokes section, people. This makes much more sense to me and seems a much more solid investment. I may not be dying of excitement at every article (I will never be able to pretend I care about football) but I will finish my bathtime read with satisfaction and humour. And there’s only so many models one can look at in a women’s magazine without feeling kind of fat, so looking at the James Franco’s of the world makes me waaaaay more happy.

 

I don’t want to change the world. Just women’s magazines.

 

 

Hunter Gather AW14: London Collections men

London is always an exciting place to be, but since being hailed as the mens fashion capital of the world, this week is exceptionally interesting! Yesterday, I was lucky enough to attend the Hunter Gather AW14 presentation, ‘Neon Noir’, which was held at the labels Marylebone boutique on Wigmore street, which is also a café (with amazing coffee if you’re passing by on your way to work!). Amongst the crowd was the beautiful David Gandy, photographer Rankin, and Made in Chelsea’s Proudlock.

Launched in December 2012, the brand has been hugely successful, and is also stocked at Matches fashion (shop here at http://www.matchesfashion.com ) and Selfridges. The brand is a creative community assembled by David Bradshaw and Chris Bailey, and the collection focuses on modern classics, containing everything ones wardrobe needs! The Marylebone boutique is a refreshing space, with heavenly high ceilings no other store can match!

The collection was 80’s inspired, featuring classic bomber jackets and cropped trousers, as well as cable knit jumpers and creeper shoes.

As well as the classic 80’s inspired cool, there were also Pollock-like patterns in red, black and white. I felt this added a refreshing take on the classic pieces.

Here’s some of the food on offer……YUM

The pieces are easy to wear and effortlessly chic. To see more, click the link here! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7UeV6k9jEzs

For more updates, their twitter is: @Hunter_Gather , or visit the website http://www.huntergather.com !

Queueing: NO

Over the festive period I have had a lot more free time to think about things I hate. I have now decided my most hated thing of the month is the following: QUEUEING. And not just any kind of queueing. Queueing for restaurants (mostly, burger places). Although queueing is all around us at this time of year (I went to Selfridges on the 26th and there were bouncers in the different concessions with barriers separating people – NO), and I have started shamelessly shoving people on the street for stopping in the middle of Oxford Circus to take numerous photos of Oxford Street on their phone (STOP IT! IT’S UGLY AND YOU’RE IN MY WAY!) at least there is the comfort of knowing it will only last until the sales are over. This food thing I do NOT get. 

Every time I venture into soho, I am amazed at the ridiculously long queues which I am presented with outside (mostly) burger restaurants and I don’t get it. Call me crazy – I love burgers, but there is no burger in London (or the world) I perceive to be worth waiting in the cold for an hour to get whilst I’m pushed and shoved by a bunch of noisy tourists. There are some good burger places in London, but let’s face it, they’re all pretty similar. I do NOT appreciate seeing peoples check ins at Meat Liquor or Patty and Bun and I do NOT think you are cool for waiting in the cold like Oliver Twist for an hour just so you can get some chicken wings.

 

Of course, much of this is because loads of restaurants are starting this really cool thing where they don’t take bookings. Call me old fashioned, but isn’t there kind of a point to a restaurant taking bookings? I personally enjoy knowing when I arrive somewhere, I will be able to sit down and eat my food, and have time to choose what I want without having to be stared down by the beady little eyes of people queueing outside eyeing up my meal like a pack of hungry lions. It’s annoying! Go AWAY!

If you are going to go against everything I have just taken the time to warn you about, I recommend going for your meat fix at lunchtime, most of the other lions don’t appear to get let out of their cages until about 5pm when apparently everyone decides they MUST eat after a long queue simultaneously, whereas these places are mostly empty before 2pm. Also, if you have a birkin bag, take it, you look important and will probably be jumped to the front of the queue. 

I recommend the following 3 burger places if you’re still not over it:

 BRGR Soho on Wardour street – this is my FAVE (BEST chicken burgers ever and rarely a queue) http://brgr.co

Burger and Lobster on Dean street (you can book a table if you’re in a larger group and you’ll get a whole lobster to yourself – no messing around) http://www.burgerandlobster.com

Tommi’s Burger Joint on Thayer Street in Marylebone (also rarely a queue and the meat ROCKS, but alas there is no chicken) http://www.burgerjoint.co.uk

 

 

Michael Kors Mess

 

If I see one more girl wearing a Michael Kors bag, I will go INSANE.

 Selfridges recently used a markting tactic for their instargam page, using the hashtag #howIwearmykors . I can advise you on that for free: DON’T.

Every time I leave my house, I count at least 50 Michael Kors bags on my way to work and probably even more on the way back. The studs wish they were Valentino, and they’re not, and it’s killing me. The obvious branding is becoming tackier than a Burberry cap. I cannot deal with this anymore.

 The bags are starting to remind me of the Louis Vuitton bag, aka the Camden market classic. I would just like to highlight THIS:

The fall of another once moderately classy brand does not surprise me and I am once again reminded of the disaster that Burberry was once a victim of. If you make something too accessible, (a MK bag is around £250) it becomes ruined by every fifteen year old on her way to Topshop. It’s kind of like the really naughty kid in your class, at first it’s interesting to watch, but after a while the attention seeking is just way too much to deal with and it’s not cool anymore because it isn’t special. But you can’t escape it until the season is over and you change classes.

 

And the scariest thing is that it doesn’t stop there.

 

Why does desirability suddenly appear to have nothing to do with originality? Help me here please.

 

Save yourselves, before it’s too late!

 

Topic of the week: Blowfish

This week’s blog is dedicated to the growing number of females in London town who have had their lips done. All of a sudden they appear to be everywhere – passing me on the street, creeping up behind me in Selfridges, all the sushi restaurants, at the fish counter in Waitrose….

  

What confuses me is not even so much the amount of girls getting their collagen fix, but the amount of girls getting EXACTLY the same trout pouts. Am I missing something here? Is there a doctor doing a 50 % off deal on lip injections? My initial response was to blame Kim K, who is also the perpetrator of the caterpillar eyebrows trend (FYI: colouring in your eyebrows so heavily it looks like you let your baby cousin loose with a brown crayon on your face is NOT CHIC, and you look more like a character of similarly NOT CHIC show The Valleys than an exotic member of the Kardashian clan). However, at least Kim’s many lip jobs don’t bear resemblance to a creature of the sea. My views on surgery are fairly open: whilst I do think that it can be an addictive process which only ends up making you more insecure as you strive for perfection which is unobtainable, it can look good if you have the right surgeon, who understands that less is more. But lip jobs baffle me.

 

It’s the whole concept behind why women get their lips done which I don’t understand. If you’ve had your trout pout done (it brings new meanings to the term plenty more fish in the sea…), it doesn’t make you special, because everyone else who sees Dr Lips is getting the same lips as you. When a man looks at your lip job, he is definitely not thinking, Oh, wow, her lips are amazing, I wonder what it would be like to kiss those lips. He is thinking about you kissing a region a little more southern. To put it bluntly, as I was told by a male: ‘They’re thinking about you sucking their dick’. (We can fuss all we want about men being so complicated, but they’re really quite simple: Me, My Dick and I, is the general life line).

 

 It’s also the rudest because half the time I feel like the people who have had their lips done are angry with me or sulking. Why do you look so unfriendly?

 

  My point is all of these women look exactly the same. They are paying good money to look like a TOWIE reject. Call me old fashioned, but surely beauty is about being unique and happy with yourself? How is something desirable if every other girl walking down Oxford street has it? I hate referencing this because it’s clearly subjective, but for arguments sake: Are the most ‘beautiful’ women in the world not successful because they posess something which is not really obtainable simply by nipping to the London Clinic in their lunch break?

 

To conclude, I am OVER IT. Most of these women also take all of the best Louboutin sizes and it’s pissing me off. Last year I bought a pair of lady peeps for £525 and a year later the price has been mysteriously upped to £695. The whole WAG look is far too accessible and getting tackier by the minute, ruining brands I once loved and upping prices by the second in an attempt to delay the situation. I can’t even buy a Hermes belt anymore, because I’ll look like an arsehole. In the words of Regina George: What is happening to the world?